I've been in the weirdest headspace lately. Taking my frustrations out on other people.

Feeling like I want to break things.

Pushing people away.

Just let it pass, let it go... "Times are a changing, my dear."

How I feel these days. Mostly. The face is accurate at least.

Obligatory pre-Kanye concert MySpace picture

Also how I feel these days. Slightly perturbed and "a lick from being pissed off."

(RE: Temple party)

"Who was the girl with the big boobs in the corset?"

"I don't know, I'm pretty sure that's Quinne's BFF."

This is hilarious to me because:

1. I don't really have "big" boobs
2. Quinne's are WAY bigger
3. It was the first night EVER that people have asked if they're real
4. Bella Suicide insisted on touching 'em to make SURE they were real
5. There were tons of boobs in the building
6. DUH we're BFFs!!!

This means that either:

1. They stick out more than I had realized b/c I normally just wear hoodies at work -or-
2. I am getting fatter, not skinnier -and-
3. The awesome power of BFF timez iz infecting the masses. At least the masses that are amongst Quinne's fans.

Heh. World domination? We has it.

Homie @ Adidas sending me 2prz of shoez b/c the last ones I got with my Adidas Dolla' didn't fit. Luckily they fit Quinne b/c they look SUPER cute on her (black/gold) and she can totally rock them!

Yesterday we chilled at my friend Alexz's pool in the W-C, welcome to California, Alexzzz! We drank margaritas by the pool and got annihilated by trying to play with / teach her adorable 9m/o pitt Bowie how to swim. I have a cig burn on my leg and Quinne and Alex have assorted "marks" of various natures. Man that is the cutest puppy in the world! Except when he tried to hump me. Good thing 1) I'm on BC and 2) he's already fixed. Could have been a disaster.

I feel like planets are becoming misaligned, though. Communication is getting weird. Everyone around me, myself included, is having strange issues. I personally am in a really weird, blocked and sort of frustrated/confused state of mind right now, and I don't even know why. It wasn't here on Friday... but today it's going full-force.

At least now I can throw away some old ass beat up shoes and make room.

Well hello! Long time no talk. I cannot believe it is half-way through April... Or as we say around here during my invoice processing, QUARTER 2! Ha. Oh man. Let's see what we can get through... on this too-nice-to-be-inside-working Friday morning. (And no, knuckle tattoos are not real, silly!)

Last night I accompanied Quinne Suicide to the SG party and lingerie fashion show at Temple in SF. We had a pretty good time minus the douchey guys (let's just say it was an active game of Your Team). Met a couple really interesting gals and this tiny little sprite that looked like a redhead Kylie Minogue. Hot! I have to say the sound at Temple is phenomenal. It also is really interesting inside, a little cold (design wise) for me but the lighting is pretty awesome. My feet are feeling the wrath of 6" heels and my ribs are still feeling corsetted... but... *breathe* ahhh....

This entire Awesometown thing has been such a journey already, and we've only just started. We've hinted around at this "awesome photo thing" hanging on the horizon, but let me start at the beginning.

We have known each other for a year or so, but recently bonded while going through really difficult times in our respective lives. We decided to embark on a photography project with the ultimate goal being to put out a coffee table book of these photos by Early Fall. The theme of the book started out as a mock tourist guide for the Northern California region, but as our ideas grew, and unexpected amazing themes manifested into unexpected amazing photos we have broadened the scope a little bit. We not only have been keeping our skills and creative eyes open, but this project has turned into such a cathartic and expressive journey not only through California but through our minds and our selves. Sounds hokey, but who cares!

This is a journey of our hearts and souls, and we are photographing every minute of it and piecing together a story that may not be for everyone, but the ones who do connect with it, I think will enjoy it quite a bit... And what is this masterpiece going to be called now? Here it is: "Awesometown, USA: A Lover's Guide to Life." We'll keep you updated with out takes and eventual release information.

And thus from the book and all the hanging out and hashing out our shit, our sarcastic mutters of "man, this is awesome..." became genuine cackles of "holy shit, this IS awesome!" as we undergo the process of shedding our skins and building thicker ones, cleaning the wounds, applying new bandages, taking the bandages off and incorporating the scars into our collective experience but not getting hung up on them. This isn't girl power shit, new wave spirituality peace love unity shit. But I guess this is growing up. It still hurts a little, so it must be working.

And then, again spawned from this book, and expanded by the trips and experiences, we created our fake little town (Awesometown, y'heard!) to amuse ourselves... only to find so many people were into what we were doing and wanted to be a part of it. So I made a site, wrote up a town charter, and Quinne and I became co-mayors of the most awesome town there is.

Whatever you're into... just endeavor to do something. Live your life.

Ok this goes with her cellphone pic of me getting ready for the Dead Animal Baby Jesus Light Up Shrine tea party photos (comin' up in the book, man we have some awesome stuff in store for you...). It's totally silly and I photoshopped some knuckle tattoos on, and this is now my Miss Puerto Rico 2008* official photo. Ha! It was pretty goofy but for some reason it's one of my favorites now. Quinne is a really good photographer, not just of me OK shut up! But we have some seriously fucking amazing shit coming up for this whole project. *Just as I clarify to people's random insisting - I am not Mexican; I am also not Puerto Rican. Do not be offended. Or, go ahead. Whatever. I do have a huge extended family of Hispanic origin, and I love them to death. My Uncle R should have his own What's For Dinner segment, that family is BOMB. Love y'all.

Awesome is:

• Heading down the coast for the weekend
• not dying in salinas
• putting things on Quinne's team 
• checking out antique malls, getting lost on CA-1 (not lost, as it only goes either up or down, but constantly just one exit too far)
• taking pictures
• margaritas!
• singing along to songs about birds in cages
• vomit (uh...)
• sushi
• beers
• manhattans & tom collins
• and of course spending this time with my BFF Quinne. The Quinneicorn. AKA Captain Awesome. I can go on forever about how much it means to me to have a BFF-Cat just one LOL away. She's my little pixie of happiness and magic! Seriously - to all the Quinne fans out there, you can't tell me you don't think she is some kind of magical Canadian pixie-sprite hybrid bubbling with Awesome. Shiiiit.

Not Awesome is:

• "I didn't know girls like you existed." You did. We're everywhere. And we're all somebody's ex. So cut the bullshit and see awesome for awesome, good for good, bad for bad, human for human. Live your fucking life, and contribute something to mine or get the fuck out the way.
• Bay Area can't-decide-if-it's-cold-or-hot-but-damn-this-atmospheric-pressure-drop-my-fuckin'-sinuses-hurt bullshit.
• DMR over here, jackin' shit up.
• LTB Crew. Pandar5000 & I had the LongTermBroke crew, but she just paid off her student loans, so it looks like now I'm the lone captain of this sinkin' ship.

I cannot begin to express my glee and giddyness and just how much fucking AWESOME I am filled with regarding the photo book we are working on. Firstly, it's something to do that keeps Quinne and I up on both modeling and photography skills, Second-wise, it provides weekends full of discovery, roadtrips, and unexpectedness, and Thirdtastically, shit, I love coffee table books (so does Quinne) and we're actually gonna have something to offer the world when we're done.

So, um. Today it hurts. Last night though, it was awesome. Morning commute text message convo as follows:

Monday again... meaning Quinne is back today... huzzah! Also meaning it's time to have a business meeting and take care of some Awesome. Stoked to get shit going, fill out some content etc, even though my eyes are still bugging out from staring at lines of language.ini files and css and php. Gag.

This weekend was uneventful: house cleaning, site-doing, oh yeah... and WONTONS AND BEER. It's what's for dinner! Also, hanging out with The Bentley was a highlight. This blog is boring. Thank GOD the rest of the site is about to be awesome. Filming our cooking adventures, awesome adventures, giving The People some stuff to listen to and look at.

I'm at work now... guess it's time to start... Working. I have to do a 15-month average usage of all expense codes in our system. And then explain what stuff like the various departments' GINORMOUS bills for "office supplies" and "outside services" actually are. Yay. A company that's been around since the late '70s and just NOW making a budget? Glad I could help...

XOXO